sian
Blasting my earphones out loud....
Trying my best to cover the hurting words
Just when you reach home,
"Such lousy results are expected for such a person like her..."
"She will never reach my standard.."
From my 2 dearest parents
It hurts so much..
Lihe wants me to go JJC with her, but I want to go ACJC..with keith
I am NOT being biaous
I am NOT in love with him
I just want to make a wise choice
JJC is a great place..but ACJC was my dream JC..
I am totally lost...dont know what to do
And to think that I actually laughed out of relief when I saw my results
And to think that I am not so bad after all
And to think that all my troubles will be over...
I am SO wrong.SO WRONG.
It feels like 'Welcome to my life' by simple plan..
To be hurt, to be lost, to be left out in the dark....
Why does this have to happen to me?!..Why?
5 days to make a decision..
5 days to choose a route...
5 days before it all ends..
miss you all
Settled down in JJc for now. *Sigh, but somehow there is an empty feeling and I just cant fit in perfectly well with the culture there. Well, its not obvious with me being happy-go-lucky almost all the time, dumping myself with many things to do to distract me from thinking it all.
I miss...
Keith..haha even though we are in different JCs, we still keep contact regardless of games or sms (during sch time somemore lolx) Really really glad to know him, with him around its impossible to feel sad and lonely. I can go crazy being myself, crap, laugh and speak my heart out with his existance. Most ppl will give me the look thinking that I am in love with him or something like that. DREAM ON! Haha..and thats what I like the most. Between us there's only the purest of friendship, nothing else...Thnx for helping me go through the lonliness in jc by replying my crap messages haha
Roy...a bit bemusing to mention him here...but nvm...my second tablemate..crazy person, can go extreme hyper or extreme emo (okok kidding la) With him around is 1 thing...the next second we'll be frozen solid..haha..he is too lame..lame lame lame lame...even keith still calls him the gay..without him I guess the 3 seats on the right hand of 4H classroom will never be complete. The days of hwk copying, exam mugging, games discussions, bingo tournaments, laughing about craters on we-know-who and doing ******* stuff under the table (lol?) will never be the same..
The 4 special girls!!!Muahaha...cheryl, fengping, tuanying and brena...will miss you ppl LOTS and LOTS!! Well, without them I may just turn into a guy mixing around with keith and roy lolx. Hahas. They are close to me like sisters. Apparently there's smth wrong with the posting so this area loads without my words of thanks....But all of you ROCK no matter what!!!Cheryl being my personal consellor and msn chatting partner.FP your new hair rocks!! Miss all the lame+sick+cold jokes. Tuanying, miss u lots!! Always liked you presence! Brena, once my tablemate and friend,always my tablemate and friend..thanks for the entertainment in my sec3-4 yr haha
4Horrified!! Well, even though I am not extremely close to everyone there, I have to admit I had fun in this crazy class with all our teachers having headaches about us. So what if we are not the top class? What matters is that everyone knows how to have fun and have a great heart.Cheers!
Saxos!! Oh how I miss my darling saxophone..and of course, my juniors!! Tze teng, Constance, Sheryl, Kenny, Shengjue, Yikai and not to forget the two ldrs haha..Priscilla and Zihan. All of you make up one of the very important parts of my life in rv. The life in band haha..I miss tzeteng being sicko, constance being hyper, sheryl playing in alto 2, Kenny getting dudiao by me, shengjue getting lost with me in side reading, Yikai suaning me..Priscilla and Zihan's help offered to me..You know, when I went for CCA open house in JJC..I never forget to visit the band and try the saxo for fun..( I heard eddee went there for the 1st intake and pi**ing the ldrs there because of his Apness lolx ) I promised that I will visit you all >.<>
world's apart
A chinese poem that speaks to the heart =P 世界上最远的距离
不是 生与死的距离
而是 我站在你面前
你不知道我爱你
世界上最远的距离
不是 我站在你面前
你不知道我爱你
而是 爱到痴迷
却不能说我爱你
世界上最远的距离
不是 我不能说我爱你
而是 想你痛彻心脾
却只能深埋心底
世界上最远的距离
不是 我不能说我想你
而是 彼此相爱
却不能够在一起
世界上最远的距离
不是 彼此相爱
却不能够在一起
而是明知道真爱无敌
却装作毫不在意
世界上最远的距离
不是 树与树的距离
而是 同根生长的树枝
却无法在风中相依
世界上最远的距离
不是 树枝无法相依
而是 相互了望的星星
却没有交汇的轨迹
世界上最远的距离
不是 星星之间的轨迹
而是 纵然轨迹交汇
却在转瞬间无处寻觅
世界上最远的距离
不是 瞬间便无处寻觅
而是 尚未相遇
便注定无法相聚
世界上最远的距离
是鱼与飞鸟的距离
一个在天,一个却深潜海底
泰戈尔的诗《世界上最远的距离》
lately
Well..been kinda busy so there is a lack of time for me to update >.<
LOL?
Okay..yesterday I was kinda upset and feeling bad about myself...all the funny depression feeling as I realised that ppl are starting to care a lot of looks in JC..makes me wonder whether my ideology on heart more impt than looks is worth it or not...also there are some disputes among a few ppl that makes me feel uncomfortable. I hate those sort of weird tension feeling between ppl. So was in really a horrible mood when I went to slp..
zzZZZzz
Then while I was sleeping, somehow there was a bright flash of light and I feel like I am not being me. Its like being controlled by smth and its really a creepy feeling with my hands and legs all tingy. I cant move either...Due to the ghost stories I heard lately, I guess I thought that I was being possessed (lol?). I was scared. However, I fought with that 'thing' (dun ask..I dont know) in my mind by thinking "I want to be myself..no matter what, I love myself and so go away!" Somehow...weirdly the force on me disappeared and all was well..the most scary part was that when I woke up to check the time, it was a few minutes past 12am.
Phew?
Well, I guess that there are many reasons for such things such as stress, yadayada...etc..etc. But, ghost or no ghost, imagination or not, I am glad for that to happen. Seriously, it got me out of the weird mood I was in and the lack of confidence in myself. To whatever thingy out there, I thank you from the bottom of my heart (sounds crappy). Thank you for making me realise that the most impt thing is the strength in your heart and the love for youself...=)
