I dont know why, but lately, I feel that I no longer love addy as much..and been finding reasons why I should not be with him. I know its unfair to him, but I admit, its the logical and selfish side of me. I really dont see how our relationship can last. Why? Cus addy has no foresight, he is still a child. I really dont need to take care of a child as my bf, I want someone who makes me feel secure, and willing to fight for me. by fight I mean, to do his best for his own future. How do I feel secure when he cant even deal with his family, dont know what he wants in life, and cant even discipline himself ( cleaning his room, managing his money/time and not even sleeping at all). And he does not take care of his health, ending up being sick all the time, and using it to run away from army, and waste money to visit the doctor thinking that as long as you can visit the doc it should be fine. I have stayed 4 years with him, I have enjoyed and suffered his company. However, I know almost all about him, but I see not much of an improvement. And also, I feel that in a way I bought this product and got cheated. Lol..because you see, the main reason why I fell in love was that I believe that addy will really love me because of his unwavering love towards yan ting. But in a way it backfired. His unwavering love will forever be with yanting, because he will not treat me the same in fear of getting hurt. But I have been loving him despite knowing I will get hurt real bad, why cant he understand that? Is it really true that the person who fell in love with the other 1st will lose. Guess I am really being taken for granted. I just want someone who will appreciate my love, understand that when I give it, I give it all. And that person can understand it and accept it, and not get spoilt by it. (and of course return my love too) Maybe that all happens in dramas. I am really thinking about whether being single is a much better thing. Because no one is worthy, or can stand my love.