Fucking hell..
I think I am obsessed with sex..
Why is it that I am always wanting it..
Nvm
Sigh...Sometimes I guess love can only grow more if a certain distance was kept..
Yeah maybe I should start keeping a distance away from Addy..
Honestly sometimes I wonder whether he treasure me or not..
Yeah yeah I know its not fair for me to be like this..
But honestly sometimes its just so hard for me to see..
maybe cus I am only looking from my point of view..
And the only time when I really know is when we have sex..
Ahhh maybe thats why I love sex so much..
Whatever..
Lemme be emo today..
No one understands me..not even Addy.
No one knows how a total disaster I am deep down inside..
And its all this stupid facade..
The thing is that I have such a huge pride..
So huge that I wont show you..
But even if I show you..you will never ever understand the pain and sufferings I go through deep down inside
I want to cry out my sorrows..
but I have no place to cry..
So I bottle it all up in this jar of mine..when eventually it will burst and overflow
What exactly is happiness?
I know that the cheery side of me knows it soo well..but its always complicated by me..
I hate this world..I hate this artificial world that is man-made..and so ruined by humans..
Music no longer sound natural, things become more complicated..and we lose sight of our origins..
We belong to nature, yet now all we do is destroy them..Now nature is taking its revenge..
This world is such a sad sad world..Whats there to hope when the end of the world will eventually come? Why are we coming up with so much dumb stuff when its slowly killing us..
Life's simple pleasures..what happened to it?
Its no longer simple..Its so complicated, its ridiculously absud
I wish that I dont belong in this world..
Maybe thats the reason for all these fantasy and virtual reality..
because we all want an escape..an escape to a better world out there..
The irony being most of the "paradise" they visualised is full of nature, no internet, no wires, no radiation..and without these most people rather die..
What a useless race..so fake..
People no longer want to be themselves..they no longer live as themselves..
All they care is to satisfy their selfish desires..
Or dwell in dumb beliefs..
Personally I think the world will be a better place if the human race was wiped out..
Yes including me..
I will leave with no regrets..because I feel happy for all the creatures that are safe from us..
However, now that you think about it..
The damage done by humans will take years and maybe even centuries to heal..
And the sad thing is that it may not be us that have to clean up the mess made by those before us..its all the next generations..
Then whats the point of living?
Whats the point of bringing innocent lives to suffer for the mistakes that we made?
And..Whats the point of loving someone when you know that there is a possibility of it all being wasted?
If I exist as one entity, I will be here updating my blog..
Its only because of the more humane side of me that kept me alive for so long..
but maybe maybe there will be a chance for me to end it all..
for I dont see the meaning in life...
Emo. Me.