Love hurts..

Yeah..honestly every time that something happens which caused my heart to hurt..

I will have the thought to run away from it...

To really break up with Addy and live life by myself..

No one will know the pain I went through..

I had to put aside everything to spend time with him..delaying all my work..

I had to stay strong even though I am on the verge of break down..

And..when I stay overnight at his house..I cant sleep because of the lights and the sounds..

Addy always plays till super late..

I was really super super tired..and desperately need my sleep..

But I dont want to spoil his fun..

Especially when he did something that stupid..

YES sorry this is my emo and selfish blog..

Lemme vent it all out

Yeah its stupid because he never thought of himself, his family and me..

WHAT IF YOU END UP IN HOSPITAL YOU IDIOT

Sigh...Sometimes I wonder whether its because I let him off so easily all the time..

Now I have to rush my ass off to finish all those things..

ALL REQUIRING URGENT ATTENTION..

FUCK..yeah..

I know its unreasonable to blame him..

Because actually I can dun give a damn about him and let him rot and die..

But DAMMIT.. I cant..

DAMMIT...I love him..

and DAMMIT..

Because I love him..

My heart hurts like fuck..

I worry so much...and I AM the one worrying for his family..

DO YOU KNOW THAT YOUR MUM IS LIKE HAVING CONSTANT HEADACHES AFTER ALL THAT FUSS??!!

Honestly, I respect his mum a lot, especially since she treats me so nicely..

so thats why..I was super disappointed with him when he did it on purpose..

yeah maybe he was really in depression..

That I cannot blame..

But.. But..

I hate it when I am affected by my emotions..

I hate to lose control..

Yet you made me lose control..

Which is why I hate it..

yet I am so addicted to it that I cant let go..

And to tell the truth..

Love is the reason why I still stayed strong for you..